Dear Annie: My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease five years ago. In the beginning, it was just small stuff, such as forgetting that she had told the same story to us five times or using her lipstick as eyeliner.

애니에게: 어머니가 5년 전 알츠하이머 진단을 받으셨어요. 처음은 우리에게 같은 이야기를 5번 한 것을 까먹는다든가 립스틱을 아이라이너로 사용하는 것 같은 사소한 것이었어요.

About a year ago, it got really bad. My dad told me that she would get up in the middle of the night and take out the car. One night, around 3 in the morning, he got a call from a gas station.

그런데 1년 전부터 정말로 악화됐어요. 아버지는 어머니가 한밤중에 일어나선 차를 갖고 나가신다고 했어요. 하루는 아버지가 새벽 3시에 주유소에서 전화를 받으셨어요.

The attendant said that there was a lady there who didn’t know where she was. After the middle-of-the night scare, my father decided it was time to put her under professional care.

주유소 점원은 자신이 어디 있는지를 모르는 아주머니가 있다고 했어요. 한밤중의 공포 후 아버지는 어머니가 전문가의 케어를 받게 해야겠다고 결심하셨어요.

We researched all the facilities and found the best one. Though it is a great deal of money for us, the care the facility provides seems topnotch.

우린 온갖 시설을 알아보다 좋은 곳을 발견했어요. 돈은 많이 들어도 최고의 케어를 제공하는 곳으로 보여요.

The other night, my dad and I took my mom out to dinner and then went back to the home where she is staying. She sang nursery songs the whole ride back from the restaurant and seemed in good spirits.

며칠 전 밤 아버지와 저는 엄마를 모시고 외식을 한 후 어머니가 머무르고 있는 시설로 돌아갔어요. 어머니는 식당에서 돌아오는 내내 자장가를 부르셨고 기분이 좋아 보였어요.

When we were saying goodbye (not sure she remembered who I was), she began to cry. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t go home with my dad. She became very upset and said, “But he is my husband. I love him. I want to sleep next to him.”

우리가 작별인사를 하자 (어머니가 저를 알아보셨는지는 잘 모르겠어요) 어머니는 울기 시작하셨어요. 어머니는 왜 아버지와 함께 집에 갈 수 없는지를 이해 못하셨어요. 엄청 속상해하시면서 “그는 내 남편이잖아. 난 그를 사랑해. 저 사람 옆에서 자고 싶어”라고 하셨어요.

My dad was holding back tears and said very calmly, “No, this is your home now. You have to go to your room.” The nurses told my dad and me to leave and said they would take care of her. It was so sad to watch. Were the nurses right, or should we have taken her back with us? ? Daughter in Distress

아버지는 눈물을 참으시며 “아니, 이젠 여기가 당신 집이야. 당신 방으로 가야 해”라고 침착하게 말씀하셨어요. 간호사들이 아버지와 제게 “이제 가시라, 저희가 잘 돌봐 드리겠다”고 했어요. 정말 눈물겨웠어요. 간호사의 말이 맞나요 아님 어머니를 집에 모시고 왔어야 했나요? -- 괴로운 딸

Dear Daughter : Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease, not only for the person diagnosed with it but also for all his or her loved ones. It takes no prisoners and leaves everyone around wounded; there is no doubt about that. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds as if you’ve found a reputable care facility for your mom, and that’s great.

따님께: 알츠하이머는 환자 당사자뿐만 아니라 가족들에게도 끔찍한 병이에요. 인정사정이 없으며 주변의 모든 사람에게 상처를 주죠. 그런 일을 겪으시다니 정말 유감입니다. 평판 좋은 시설을 발견하신 것 같은데 다행이에요.

Talk to her doctor and ask him or her whether there are any techniques you and your dad could use to help soothe your mom when she’s distressed. You might also talk to your insurance provider about home health care options.

어머님 담당의사에게 어머니가 힘들어할 때 그녀를 진정시키기 위해 님과 아버지가 사용할 수 있는 기술이 없는지 물어보세요. 가정간호 옵션에 대해 보험사와 상담해 볼 수도 있고요.